When Natalia fell ill with cancer, she bought pink sheets. And she left, braided like a schoolgirl. Until then, she hated pink, probably because she was in a hurry to grow up, to turn his back on the candy ribbons and dolls of childhood. She urgently wanted to become very big and in a hurry, like Alice in Wonderland, too much syrup to grow. Not yet finished 40, twice she faced death. She was on 28, when her closest friend died of a heart attack a few meters away, partner and beloved. On 34 she was diagnosed with breast cancer.
Meanwhile, deafened 80 from treatment with gentamicin. И днес е тоолкова голяма, that the 38-year-old is in menopause, caused by pills. Hormone therapy against tumors does not forgive femininity. In a sense, Natalia is no longer a woman, and a girl, again. It is a life's task to rediscover his childhood and to establish in his life his innocence and coziness. He sleeps in pink sheets ( After all, my dislike of pink is just a prejudice barrier, which I imposed on myself , he says). He walks with braids and mixs herbal decoctions and ointments in whimsical jars, looking for special people for his special natural hand made cosmetics. He is living another new life. Mother of two sons, on 30 she gave birth to Simeon, on 32 Jordan, and on 34 – crab. (I remember: Where did I get these shrimp from?, where they walk in me , said my father almost lovingly, before he left this world with a liver, eaten by cancer had a black sense of tumor in every sense).
I felt a lump in my breast and immediately went to the doctor. Казаха ми да не се притеснявам, was not dangerous. However, I was worried, something in me did not give me peace even after 1 month I insisted on having surgery. It was supposed to be routine, and it turned out, that it is an extremely scary and fast-growing type of cancer. I was lucky, that they caught the tumor at a very early stage , tells Natalia. I take her back to her first encounter with death. With her first love, Bobby opened a recording studio while they painted its walls, oil paint drips into her eye. I went down to the pharmacy downstairs for medicine and when I came back, Bobby was gone. His body had slumped to the floor, people had gathered, and I felt strangely calm, by no means abandoned did I feel his comforting presence nearby. Bobby is on 33 and after his death he often visits her in his sleep to bless her as if or to warn her of things, from which to beware.
9 months after losing his beloved, Наталия се запознава със сърцебиене и загуба на чувство за реалност. I needed more 2 years, while my body adapts to the lack of female hormone, which allows adrenaline to peak. It was this lack of self-control that prevented me from reintegrating into life, to socialize. Natalia started going to psychotherapy and is very grateful to her analyst Galya Petrova. She is already convinced, that psychotherapy should be covered by the Health Insurance Fund at least for cancer patients.
I wondered for a long time, of course, why exactly this happened to me. Знам вече и част от отговорите защото лошо управлявам живота си, because I am a fickle nature and have never had a center, because I very rarely finish my things, I find it difficult to combine my chaotic ideas and goals with my inherent pedantry (her ascendant is in Virgo. Astrology lovers know why this trailer is important. auto. Through the disease, it's as if someone is telling me to find my center and concentrate, to dedicate to something, which has a good outcome. This is the lesson. Natalia is convinced, that cancer is a disease of the wrong lifestyle affects those, which suppress their true nature, they do not assert their own needs and live another's life. I was wrong, because I never stated definite positions , she claims. After I got sick, I concentrated in 2 things: life and love. Only these two things interest me today. My husband and I broke up and we are still close, but we do not live together. I feel it, that people wonder what they think is like me: on 80 deaf and diagnosed with cancer, she must calm down and sit next to her husband. But I'm not afraid to be alone. This is the routine, which makes me sick – i can't live in between 2 rails.
The oncodiagnosis opened my eyes to the discovery, that life should flow more easily, to live more serenely and with more joy. Може и в по-кратък срок да ти се случат определени неща, but you must try not to miss anything, which you love, which makes you happy or charges you. The thought of lack of time is a great motive. Such is fragile Natalia, bold, immersed, a bit sad, full of faith, with copper blond hair and a special flame in his eyes, with a great appetite for life and love. From things, which we have and lose, wisdom comes.
This is life. Затова се променя лицето на човек, the body, eyes , locks. On sending it tells me: There is nothing more frightening to me than impersonality, from living casino, without accents. I'm not planning anything anymore, I don't think about the future. Why everything should be done at any cost? And I feel like my dad behind my back is waving softly at her.
