"I have changed! I change every day!”, Ellie tells me, while visiting me for coffee and biscuits. And he means the change in his attitude to the world, which starts on 11 September 2001 year and continues to this day. The coincidence with the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center is accidental. This is just the first news, which Ellie hears, after coming out of anesthesia. She has just undergone surgery. Understand, that they removed one of her breasts, although she had previously vehemently insisted that this be done only if absolutely necessary. During the operation, the surgeon judges, that the latter is a fact and takes action.
A few years later, Ellie, she had already left the physical pain behind, but encountered pain of another type (the one from the separation from her husband), undergoes a 6-hour reconstructive operation - much more severe and longer than the first. Fortunately - successful! Today, Ellie is a much fuller person, than it ever was. And it handles the challenge, called life, every day. With the help of her children - the beautiful Simeon and Ralitsa, and cocker spaniel Sara. With the help of folk dances, which she has danced all her life and which she gives as a gift, supported by APOZ and friends (Association of Cancer Patients), every Monday to women in a similar position to her - women, overcame a severe diagnosis of breast cancer, for whom every new day is a new beginning.
Biography of a woman
August, 2001 year. Even before it happened, Eli's family's perfectly organized summer vacation is disrupted by an unexpected find. "As I lay there, suddenly my left palm fell on my right breast - Eli remembers the moment in detail. - I immediately felt the lump!Despite the sudden and unusual discovery, Ellie is not worried. In those years, there was still not so much talk about the prevention and prophylaxis of breast cancer. No campaigns, foundations are also missing, to promote the problem. Eli is convinced, that it was something fleeting. "I was sure, that it is a fat lump. I thought, I will remove it, and I end with the topic… Not for a moment did it occur to me, that this could happen to me. ” Deceived by her own optimism, Ellie sees a doctor only a few weeks later. She was immediately diagnosed. They also set a date for the operation. She wakes up in the hospital - everything is different - she, her consciousness, her body, even the world is different - suddenly everyone is talking about terrorism.
Getting used to the thought of cancer
In the next few years, Ellie has to deal with the terrorism of her own illness - to get used to the thought, that her cleavage is not the same from an aesthetic and psychological point of view, to accept his new image in the mirror, to go through a series of therapeutic courses, to experience another loss of a loved one, to lose her self-confidence as a woman, to find it again and prove it, that every battle leads to change.
"It simply came to my notice then, I was a bad mother. I didn't know how to express my love for children. I had become my own mother. It's amazing how your life makes you repeat the same mistakes as your parents even when you were convinced, that you will be different. ” This is how Ellie describes her character from the period, before she was diagnosed with breast cancer. After the operation, however, she tries to look for the other person in her. And he succeeds - specifically in his relationships with children, who are by her side at every moment of her battle with the insidious disease. "A lot of people think so, that love is to provide your child with everything he needs. They do not understand, that a kiss and a hug are much more important! I learned to give these things after the operation. "
I am an incorrigible optimist!
"I am an incorrigible optimist! Says Ellie today, although he still cannot swallow the pain of humiliation, caused to her by her ex-husband, who chooses to return to the other woman in his life, as Ellie's condition improves. His lack of courage makes this process slow and painful for his loved ones. It takes him years of passive family involvement, before making the final decision. As often happens in such situations, evil tongues help him. Personally, his longtime girlfriend tells Ellie the truth. The pain of discovery, that she is not the only woman in her husband's life, is extremely big for Ellie.
While waiting for the man of her dreams, Ellie spends her time in the company of her children and her favorite dog, Sarah. "I did not suspect, that I will develop such a love for animals - she said. "Such pure and unconditional love for a living thing at all."! …”
There are people, who go through difficult trials in their lives and never learn their lesson. Eli is not one of them, although he claims, that he continues to learn his lessons to this day. He lives in Sofia and works in a foundation, which deals with the problems of hemodialysis patients. The pay is lower, than it had been at her previous job, but Ellie is calmer and feels useful here. He talks to his personal psychologist often, by topic, which are current and excite her. He tries to hear his inner voice and understand what he wants from himself, from others around, from the moment, from life in general… Sets goals. He tries to forgive people, which caused her pain. She forgave most of them. It changes every day. And he knows, that her personal change is also changing the world, in which we live.